MENU: Last Night

My gratitude for The Sexy Blonde and her tasting tour assistance in wine country last week prompted me to prepare a hearty meal of comfort food for two last night, and I was so appreciative that I found the time to make everything from scratch.

Crostini with olive tapenade and goat cheese
Salad of butter lettuce, golden beets, walnuts and goat cheese with a shallot vinaigrette
Baked macaroni and cheese (sharp cheddar and gruyere with crispy topping)
Chicken schnitzel (with carbombbq sauce on the side)
Swedish ginger cookie cups with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce
A bottle of Carignane that we picked up around Healdsburg

She seemed happy, but complained that I was going to make her fat, but she is the last person to need to worry about that. We joked about what a great story it would make for a chef to seduce his women with his cooking, fatten them up and then cast them aside and move on to the next conquest, but then what will the chef get as his just des(s)erts?

JOURNAL: Doritos X-13D and The Sexy Blonde

This is one culinary experiment gone horribly awry.

In an intentionally plain bag, which Tim had picked up at the grocery store, sat the Doritos X-13D experimental flavor tortilla chips. The label claimed that the new flavor was an all-time American classic, and the four of us sat around the coffee table on a Friday afternoon staring at the mystery with which he presented us.

We each popped a chip into our mouths and almost everyone reacted in the same way - instant recognition followed immediately by horror and then confusion. We each knew that we knew the flavor, but couldn't name it. Everyone that is, except for The Sexy Blonde. Known for her fantastically accurate palate, she had determined the intended flavor and broken down its components before I had even gotten one chip past my lips, and it was torturing her to wait for the rest of us to figure it out or give up.

She held her tongue while the rest of us pondered and grimaced, but was chomping at the bit to declare her findings. One by one we gave up and chugged anything within reach that would wash the flavor from our tongues and finally she announced it, "McDonalds Cheeseburger! You can taste the onions, pickles, cheese and beef." She was absolutely correct although we all wished that it had remained a mystery. I immediately asked The Sexy Blonde if she would accompany me to Sonoma next week, because I could surely use a super-taster like her on my wine tasting excursion.