JOURNAL: Doritos X-13D and The Sexy Blonde

This is one culinary experiment gone horribly awry.

In an intentionally plain bag, which Tim had picked up at the grocery store, sat the Doritos X-13D experimental flavor tortilla chips. The label claimed that the new flavor was an all-time American classic, and the four of us sat around the coffee table on a Friday afternoon staring at the mystery with which he presented us.

We each popped a chip into our mouths and almost everyone reacted in the same way - instant recognition followed immediately by horror and then confusion. We each knew that we knew the flavor, but couldn't name it. Everyone that is, except for The Sexy Blonde. Known for her fantastically accurate palate, she had determined the intended flavor and broken down its components before I had even gotten one chip past my lips, and it was torturing her to wait for the rest of us to figure it out or give up.

She held her tongue while the rest of us pondered and grimaced, but was chomping at the bit to declare her findings. One by one we gave up and chugged anything within reach that would wash the flavor from our tongues and finally she announced it, "McDonalds Cheeseburger! You can taste the onions, pickles, cheese and beef." She was absolutely correct although we all wished that it had remained a mystery. I immediately asked The Sexy Blonde if she would accompany me to Sonoma next week, because I could surely use a super-taster like her on my wine tasting excursion.