RECIPE: Misfortune Cookies

For guests at my 30th birthday party, I threw together a batch of "misfortune cookies." They are fairly conventional cookies, except for the fortunes. I tried a few recipes, but they didn't satisfy me, so I made my own.

Favorite fortunes included:

"No matter what you do in life, you’re still screwed thanks to global warming."
"See your doctor. It’s not 'just a rash.'”
"Made in Taiwan."
"This fortune will self-destruct in 5 4 3 2 1…"
"Nobody loves you. They only tolerate you."
"Despite what you’ve been told, you actually do look fat in those pants."
"Allergy Warning: cookies are processed in a plant that manufactures products with dairy, peanuts and raw sewage."
"Congratulations! You chose the poison cookie."
"It’s just a matter of time before you get caught."
"Your thighs won’t appreciate you eating this cookie."
"It’s not me; it’s you."
"As you read this, small Gypsy children are picking your pockets."

Fortune Cookie Recipe

2 large eggs
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon triple sec
3 tablespoons water
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar

1. Heat an ungreased, non-stick griddle pan to between 350 and 375 degrees.
2. Whisk together egg, oil, vanilla, triple sec and water.
3. Continuing whisking, while sifting remaining ingredients into bowl.
4. Whisk until batter is consistent and transfer into a measuring cup or other item with handle and spout.
5. Pour 4-inch circles of batter onto griddle (see note).
6. Flip cookie when the first side starts to turn golden and remove when golden on both sides.
7. You’ve got about 15 seconds to make the fold before the cookie gets brittle.
a. Place a fortune in the center of the cookie and fold the two opposite sides together, pinching where the edges meet between your left thumb and index finger.
b. With the cookie hanging down from where you are pinching, pull down the two corners with your right thumb and index finger.
c. Place in an empty egg carton to hold its shape while cooling.

Note: I found the easiest way to get a perfect 4-inch circle was to pour batter onto the griddle pan, spread it thin with the edge of a spatula to just larger than needed, and after about 15-seconds, place a 4-inch round cookie cutter into the batter and tear away the excess. Even with the waste pieces, I was still able to get over a dozen cookies from this recipe.


Amanda said...

I am so bummed I missed the party. I bet these were fabulous. Next year please coordinate better with my niece :-D kthnx

Rogue Designs said...

So good, even though I am screwed thanks to global warming.

neil said...


M. Quinn Sweeney said...

Neil, you totally got me. Never saw it coming. For those of you not familiar with Rickrolling, read this .

The cookie Neil opened Saturday had a scroll of a fortune in 8 point font that read "We're no strangers to love / You know the rules and so do I / A full commitment's what I'm thinking of/You wouldn't get this from any other guy / I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling/Gotta make you understand / Never gonna give you up / Never gonna let you down / Never gonna run around and desert you / Never gonna make you cry / Never gonna say goodbye /Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"